Monday, 10 February 2014

Teddy









At six you fell from the sky

and helped me conquer worlds. But at fourteen I hugged you too much

and your arm fell off,




you were bloody useless and Dad was drunk.














This week on Trifecta the challenge is to write a piece with only 33 words about 'Love Gone Wrong' without using the words Love, Sad, Tears, Heart and Pain. 33 words is tough but fun and 'Teddy' is my entry.




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42 comments:

  1. brudberg10 February 2014 at 12:22

    Heartbreaking... really... so bad... and I can only imagine what dad did.

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    1. Ally 11 February 2014 at 04:36

      Thanks Bjorn for your comment and for taking a look at my blog :)

      Delete
  2. kymm10 February 2014 at 15:02

    This is fantastic, Ally! Kinda funny and kinda cringy but all kinds of terrific read. I love that his arm fell off because of a hug.

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    1. Ally 11 February 2014 at 04:37

      Thank You Kymm, I appreciate your kind words :)

      Delete
  3. Shailaja V10 February 2014 at 19:21

    That is so tragic...I still adore teddy bears!

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    1. Ally 11 February 2014 at 04:38

      Thanks Shailaja :) Yes, teddy bears are special

      Ally :)

      Delete
  4. JannaTWrites10 February 2014 at 20:10

    This is so sad! The last line gave me a shiver, as it hints of the trouble to come.

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  5. troy P.10 February 2014 at 20:13

    My father was never this bad - my ex, however, was. I'm feeling this none the less.

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  6. Unknown10 February 2014 at 21:08

    Wow. I haven't read another entry this powerful. I love the way you've used your words-- wisely and beautifully.

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    1. Ally 11 February 2014 at 04:39

      Thank You Yeshasvi :) I appreciate your kind words

      Ally :)

      Delete
  7. Trifecta11 February 2014 at 10:25

    This is tremendous and I hope it gets a tonne of votes. And don't forget to vote also! Thanks for linking up!

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    1. Ally 12 February 2014 at 00:28

      Thanks :) I'm loving the Trifecta challenge and can't wait to vote this week :)

      Delete
  8. garrisonjames11 February 2014 at 15:46

    Yow--what a gut-punch there at the end. Good writing.

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    1. Ally 12 February 2014 at 00:28

      Thankyou, that's very kind of you to say so :)

      Ally

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  9. C.C.11 February 2014 at 22:29

    Wow, this is so sad, but so well-written.

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  10. Ally 12 February 2014 at 00:27

    Thankyou Renada :) Thanks for visting my blog :)

    Ally

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  11. Lidazea12 February 2014 at 05:54

    Like a punch in the gut! Raw, blunt and beautiful!

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  12. Ally 12 February 2014 at 06:43

    Thank You Lidazea :) That means a lot

    Ally :0

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  13. Gina12 February 2014 at 14:48

    Ally, I can't properly put into words how poignantly powerful this was. Quirky, sentimental, sad, and so much more. Heartbreakingly good!

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  14. Ivy12 February 2014 at 22:46

    Oh, wow! This is tender and heart wrenching. Raw and powerful. Nicely done!

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  15. Anonymous13 February 2014 at 07:49

    I agree, this is powerful and moving and so well done. Excellent work, Ally!

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  16. Ashley Kagaoan13 February 2014 at 08:56

    Sad and funny. Love that part about the arm falling off. Innocence was most definitely lost here in realizing there's no point in loving something that can't love you back.

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  17. Ally 13 February 2014 at 12:15

    Thankyou Ashley :)

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  18. Ally 13 February 2014 at 12:16

    Thanks for all your wonderful and touching comments, it has encouraged me greatly :)

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  19. Leigh Ward-Smith13 February 2014 at 20:03

    Poignant, but then the dark twist at the end--this really took the story to a new level! I also enjoyed that you didn't use all human protags here. Great work; will be reading more of your blog!

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    1. Ally 14 February 2014 at 03:30

      Thank You Leigh :) And you are welcome at my blog anytime :)

      Ally

      Delete
  20. BCIJo13 February 2014 at 21:45

    Artfully crafted piece. I can imagine the sadness and heartbreak of this "loving" relationship.

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  21. Anonymous13 February 2014 at 21:54

    How sad... ;-( but very well written!

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  22. Draug14 February 2014 at 07:28

    This is excellent.

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  23. Anonymous14 February 2014 at 21:25

    Oh, jeez, love gone wrong indeed. This made my heart just break. Wonderful job.

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  24. Atreyee15 February 2014 at 12:35

    Some times teddy cannot help-so sad!A unique take on the prompt-there can be other types of love gone wrong too,like here-sad that her dad had gone wrong

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