Crusoe and Bob

To whoever finds this letter


please thank the pigeon

I'm stuck on an island
fuck knows where, please send help


Yours Sincerely

Crusoe





 Dear Crusoe


I got your letter,

I gave the pigeon some bread and sent you a tuna sandwich


can you describe where you are?

Bob 





Dear Bob


Thanks for the sandwich 

all I can see is sand and sea, a few trees and the remains of the aeroplane 


where it crashed 



Crusoe





Hi Crusoe


That's not much help, I need some directions


A crash? Fuck


Are you badly injured? What happened to the other passengers?



Bob 





Bob 


I'm feeling amazingly well, considering 

sorry to say the other passengers are all dead now 


just me and the pigeon 


Crusoe





 Dear Crusoe



Bloody hell old chap how long have you been out there?


Here's a pencil and some more paper so you can draw the island

maybe we can work out where it is.


Bob 





Bob 


 I've lost track of days, I think it's been a few months, 


You should see my motherfucking beard, 


Here's my drawing 


Crusoe 





Crusoe


Thanks for the drawing

I'll see if anyone recognises it,


but one small thing, what are those black things on the beach?


Bob 





Hey Bob 


Oh the black things?

Those are the rest of them from the plane. Well what's left of them 


just bones, I can't eat the fucking bones as well


 Crusoe





 Jesus Christ


 Are you saying you ate them?

What are you, an animal?


Who would do such a thing? Seriously man.


Bob





 Bob 


Calm down you prick 

Most of them were already dead, I only shot a few.


What do you take me for? I couldn't eat the pigeon 


Crusoe





 Crusoe


It's Bob for the last time

You murdering scumbag, this is the last time you'll hear from me


You can shove the pigeon up your arse



Bob









Bob


Are you there Bob?

Bob!


 For Fuck's sake! This island is doing my head in.



Bob?








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(C) Ally Atherton 2014