Wednesday, 8 October 2014

Words







                     







                       'I'm afraid they are not very good swimmers.'





My English teacher once told me that the secret to writing was to understand that all words dress differently and that to be able to use them properly you have to see what they are really wearing.


I don't know what I was waiting for but I think I was expecting the doctor to come out with words like hypogonadism or flagellum or oligozoospermia. The kinds of words that wear bullet proof vests and night vision goggles and carry M14 sniper rifles. But he used different words. Words that wore Bermuda shorts and Converse trainers.


Apparently my sperm are trying to win an egg and spoon race with a pair of chopsticks. Apparently my sperm are jumping out of aeroplanes with umbrellas instead of parachutes.





Throughout the consultation my wife sat next to me with a look on her face that I know well.


It is a little known known fact that cows have four parts to their stomach to enable them to digest grass. They are called the rumen, the reticulum, the omasum and the abomasum. Similarly my wife is the only woman in human history that has a secret place somewhere between her mouth and her brain, a place where she is able to store her words until absolutely necessary. Words that you would cross the road to avoid. Words that wear shoulder pads and helmets.






                                                  


                                                                    (C) Ally Atherton

                                                                                2014





236 Words




                                    
                                               Written for this week's Sunday Photo Fiction.

                                               Please take a look and join in if you love writing.





    
As usual I'd really appreciate any comments or feedback.




9 comments:

  1. This is fabulous!! I really enjoyed your writing! :D

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  2. Thankyou :) Thanks for popping along to Sarah laughs.


    Ally :)

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  3. That was wonderful. As a fan of personifying words and convoluted metaphors, this is my kind of story. Great job. :)

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    1. Thankyou I appreciate your comments :)

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  4. I lack the words that offer bouquets that I have in mind. CLAPPING.

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    1. I have just caught your word bouquet :) Thankyou

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  5. What words wear is a unique concept. I found your story thoughtful, as in it really made me think; not so much about the story as the words themselves.

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  6. Thanks Dawn :) And thanks for popping along to Sarah Laughs


    Ally :)

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  7. What an absolute joy to read! So original and enticing.

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