Monday, 10 February 2014

Teddy









At six you fell from the sky

and helped me conquer worlds. But at fourteen I hugged you too much

and your arm fell off,




you were bloody useless and Dad was drunk.














This week on Trifecta the challenge is to write a piece with only 33 words about 'Love Gone Wrong' without using the words Love, Sad, Tears, Heart and Pain. 33 words is tough but fun and 'Teddy' is my entry.




43 comments:

  1. Heartbreaking... really... so bad... and I can only imagine what dad did.

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    1. Thanks Bjorn for your comment and for taking a look at my blog :)

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  2. This is fantastic, Ally! Kinda funny and kinda cringy but all kinds of terrific read. I love that his arm fell off because of a hug.

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    1. Thank You Kymm, I appreciate your kind words :)

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  3. That is so tragic...I still adore teddy bears!

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    1. Thanks Shailaja :) Yes, teddy bears are special

      Ally :)

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  4. This is so sad! The last line gave me a shiver, as it hints of the trouble to come.

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  5. My father was never this bad - my ex, however, was. I'm feeling this none the less.

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  6. Wow. I haven't read another entry this powerful. I love the way you've used your words-- wisely and beautifully.

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    1. Thank You Yeshasvi :) I appreciate your kind words

      Ally :)

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  7. Brash! Particularly that last line. I had my own teddy growing up; however, he still remains true. What an excellent way, though, to take this challenge!

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    1. Thankyou Renada :) Thanks for visting my blog :)

      Ally

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  8. This is tremendous and I hope it gets a tonne of votes. And don't forget to vote also! Thanks for linking up!

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    1. Thanks :) I'm loving the Trifecta challenge and can't wait to vote this week :)

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  9. Yow--what a gut-punch there at the end. Good writing.

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    1. Thankyou, that's very kind of you to say so :)

      Ally

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  10. Wow, this is so sad, but so well-written.

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  11. Like a punch in the gut! Raw, blunt and beautiful!

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  12. Thank You Lidazea :) That means a lot

    Ally :0

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  13. Ally, I can't properly put into words how poignantly powerful this was. Quirky, sentimental, sad, and so much more. Heartbreakingly good!

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  14. Oh, wow! This is tender and heart wrenching. Raw and powerful. Nicely done!

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  15. I agree, this is powerful and moving and so well done. Excellent work, Ally!

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  16. Sad and funny. Love that part about the arm falling off. Innocence was most definitely lost here in realizing there's no point in loving something that can't love you back.

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  17. Thanks for all your wonderful and touching comments, it has encouraged me greatly :)

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  18. Poignant, but then the dark twist at the end--this really took the story to a new level! I also enjoyed that you didn't use all human protags here. Great work; will be reading more of your blog!

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    1. Thank You Leigh :) And you are welcome at my blog anytime :)

      Ally

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  19. Artfully crafted piece. I can imagine the sadness and heartbreak of this "loving" relationship.

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  20. How sad... ;-( but very well written!

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    1. Thank You :) That means so much :)

      Ally

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  21. Replies
    1. ThankYou. That means a lot

      Ally :)

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  22. Oh, jeez, love gone wrong indeed. This made my heart just break. Wonderful job.

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  23. Some times teddy cannot help-so sad!A unique take on the prompt-there can be other types of love gone wrong too,like here-sad that her dad had gone wrong

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