Monday 10 February 2014

Teddy









At six you fell from the sky

and helped me conquer worlds. But at fourteen I hugged you too much

and your arm fell off,




you were bloody useless and Dad was drunk.














This week on Trifecta the challenge is to write a piece with only 33 words about 'Love Gone Wrong' without using the words Love, Sad, Tears, Heart and Pain. 33 words is tough but fun and 'Teddy' is my entry.




42 comments:

  1. Heartbreaking... really... so bad... and I can only imagine what dad did.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Bjorn for your comment and for taking a look at my blog :)

      Delete
  2. This is fantastic, Ally! Kinda funny and kinda cringy but all kinds of terrific read. I love that his arm fell off because of a hug.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank You Kymm, I appreciate your kind words :)

      Delete
  3. That is so tragic...I still adore teddy bears!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Shailaja :) Yes, teddy bears are special

      Ally :)

      Delete
  4. This is so sad! The last line gave me a shiver, as it hints of the trouble to come.

    ReplyDelete
  5. My father was never this bad - my ex, however, was. I'm feeling this none the less.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Wow. I haven't read another entry this powerful. I love the way you've used your words-- wisely and beautifully.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank You Yeshasvi :) I appreciate your kind words

      Ally :)

      Delete
  7. This is tremendous and I hope it gets a tonne of votes. And don't forget to vote also! Thanks for linking up!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks :) I'm loving the Trifecta challenge and can't wait to vote this week :)

      Delete
  8. Yow--what a gut-punch there at the end. Good writing.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thankyou, that's very kind of you to say so :)

      Ally

      Delete
  9. Wow, this is so sad, but so well-written.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Thankyou Renada :) Thanks for visting my blog :)

    Ally

    ReplyDelete
  11. Like a punch in the gut! Raw, blunt and beautiful!

    ReplyDelete
  12. Thank You Lidazea :) That means a lot

    Ally :0

    ReplyDelete
  13. Ally, I can't properly put into words how poignantly powerful this was. Quirky, sentimental, sad, and so much more. Heartbreakingly good!

    ReplyDelete
  14. Oh, wow! This is tender and heart wrenching. Raw and powerful. Nicely done!

    ReplyDelete
  15. I agree, this is powerful and moving and so well done. Excellent work, Ally!

    ReplyDelete
  16. Sad and funny. Love that part about the arm falling off. Innocence was most definitely lost here in realizing there's no point in loving something that can't love you back.

    ReplyDelete
  17. Thanks for all your wonderful and touching comments, it has encouraged me greatly :)

    ReplyDelete
  18. Poignant, but then the dark twist at the end--this really took the story to a new level! I also enjoyed that you didn't use all human protags here. Great work; will be reading more of your blog!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank You Leigh :) And you are welcome at my blog anytime :)

      Ally

      Delete
  19. Artfully crafted piece. I can imagine the sadness and heartbreak of this "loving" relationship.

    ReplyDelete
  20. How sad... ;-( but very well written!

    ReplyDelete
  21. Oh, jeez, love gone wrong indeed. This made my heart just break. Wonderful job.

    ReplyDelete
  22. Some times teddy cannot help-so sad!A unique take on the prompt-there can be other types of love gone wrong too,like here-sad that her dad had gone wrong

    ReplyDelete