Monday, 5 May 2014

Positivity For Dummies

                                                            Picture by ciscopa on


                            'Optimism is like a spiritual magnet'

                                                           Anna Massey



                                      I killed her.

I am holding my hands up. There's nothing I can say to convince you I don't deserve the worst punishment that can be served cold on a plate with a bowl of slugs as a side order. I'm jumping up and down and waving my arms around like a mad man with a placard around my neck saying

                         I did it

It's the books fault. I wish I could jump back in time and tear every bloody page out. What was it doing in the library in the first place? What were they thinking?

                      Positivity for Dummies

Well at least they got that bit right.

It was earth shattering. I couldn't believe how quickly it worked. The first time I used it I didn't just find a parking space, I made the parking space. It was a wall. I made the hole and drove straight into it.

I did everything the book said. In the correct order.

Say what you want

Imagine it happening


That's where it all started. In the car park.

Everywhere I went that day it worked. Cars stopped so I could cross the street. People were smiling, the sun was shining. Women were writing down their phone numbers so quickly I didn't have enough pockets to put them in. It was the most amazing morning of my life.

Then the shop materialized in front of my eyes. It was just what I wanted. I walked in, a little bell tinkled and behind the counter I saw row upon row of every sweet from my childhood. I was seven again. I bought as many as I could but my wallet was being filled as soon as it was empty. I had so many sweets I decided I would give them out to people on the streets so they would love me. They would adore me.

They would probably make me their God by the end of the day.

Then it slipped out. I didn't mean it to. It just slipped out like a little bit of pee. She shouldn't have been so rude.

Don't get me wrong. The shop was amazing and I knew I had everything to be thankful for. But the woman behind the counter was so miserable. So rude. Surely a smile wouldn't have hurt her.

But unfortunately I did. For one second I wanted her to drop dead. Miserable old cow.

The book was good. Very good. But as much as I read it and reread it I couldn't find a way of reversing things. Apparently once something is done, it's done and on the happiest day of my life I had killed a woman.

The smile was bad enough. I had manifested that as well and I didn't think it was possible to die with a smile on your face. Not one as big as that anyway. And then there was the laugh. Her dead laugh.

                             (C) Ally Atherton 2014


This is written for this weeks 500 and under prompt challenge at

                       Light And Shade

Please take a look, it's a fantastic new blog and a great way to exercise your writing talent as well as meeting some lovely fellow writers.

Ally :)


  1. OHH I love "her dead laugh"..may have to steal that one :)
    P. ( high five and raspberries )

  2. A classic 'be careful what you wish for' - great stuff and a lovely twist

  3. That gave me shivers! What a scary book to find, be careful what you wish for! And thank you for the very kind words about the blog. I hope you find it fun. Lyssa M x

    1. Thanks, I hope it's not in your library ;)

  4. I love how you write. I'm totally caught up in your words and then I get to the end and I am laughing so hard, I think I will pee! You have a way of telling a story that works in both light and dark. And I'm never bored with your stories:~)

    Oh, and thanks for prompt site. I love finding new ones to try and at least one gives me enough words. I'm terrible at the 100 word or smaller prompt sites...I need a bit more room.

    1. Thankyou Sara

      That's so kind and encouraging :)


  5. Reading the book to find a way of reversing those little oopsies..I'm rolling on the floor now Ally...this piece was darkly amazingly funny! Well done!

  6. What a great story. And I've made up my mind about one thing... I will NOT be purchasing or borrowing "Positivity for Dummies"!

    God bless you,

    1. Thanks Cheryl,

      Yep keep away from that book!

      Ally :)