Today's Friday Phrases via twitter

'Wake up it's killing time.'

I opened my eyes and saw that our doors were open. I was terrified. Today friendships would end in death.



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It takes 2 - 4 years to get to know somebody. Couples who wait this long before marriage are less likely to kill each other with a cleaver.




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I remember clearly the day me and my wife had a bath together. It would have been romantic but I had the tap end and she was quite dead.






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At 9 I used to kill time by hiding in my wardrobe. Closing my eyes

I prayed



for Narnia or Trisha, the girl next door's bedroom.








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