Friday, 10 April 2015

I is for 'Is worry normal?'

Is worry a normal part of being a parent or can you get rid of the worry so that you can enjoy being a parent?

It seems there's always something to worry about. When they are born you take them home for the first time and there is that initial panic.

What if I can't stop them from crying?

What if I can't cope?

What if I can't do this?

I'm guessing it's a terrifying thing for everyone at first.

Then they start to crawl and walk and you are scared that something will happen top them. That they will get hurt. Get taken. Get ill. It's a worry sandwich.

And then they get older and they they want to play outside and you worry about their safety even more. What if they get hurt? What if they go missing? What if they get snatched?

And then they turn into teenagers and all the worries you previously held on to shrink in comparison and as new horrors surface.

Late night parties.

The switched off phone.

The list is endless. The fear is endless.

So is it possible to get through fatherhood, through motherhood without fear spoiling the journey?

Is it possible to block fear?

can we and should we learn techniques to turn negative thoughts into positive thoughts.

Is it that easy?

Would having the ability to separate ourselves from our fears make us into better parents or just happier ones.

How do you cope? How can we make the parental journey fun instead of a bag of worry?

1 comment:

  1. I have five kids. I have definitely done my share of worrying. I have mostly come out of it, though, as I recognize that worrying doesn't change the outcome of anything, and indeed saps my energy.

    We lived pretty much right on a train track at a train crossing when my oldest three were 2, 1, and 0. Those three years about did me in. I couldn't let go of worrying about being so close to that stupid train.

    It's probably easy to forget how extremely attentive I was all the time when they were small, but I think I did eventually learn to let them go. They are now 22, 21, 19, 16, and 9.

    My main focus now is to be as supportive as I can of the decisions that they make, and to recognize that their decisions are just that. They get to make them for their own lives!

    My youngest was born with Down syndrome, so that's a whole different box of worries, but I think for the most part, I trust that he will be ok, and that we will be able to deal with anything that comes.